The Everybody’s Dream Goal: Unexpected Steps to Great Influencing Skills

Influencing people is a crucial part of many jobs, and this skill is a desirable asset in daily life. It is no wonder, then, that many people buy books and seek coaching in influencing, hoping to become more persuasive and successful in their career and beyond. Indeed, the wealth of books and blogs on the matter promise excellent results in no time at all. But are they that honest in what they offer?

There are two reservations you should know before you choose an ‘influencing marathon’ to join. First, you cannot blindly follow others’ tips without understanding them and internalizing them. Second, you do not need to master complex techniques with jingly names to become a real influencer. On the contrary, the path to becoming a person whom people hear and trust is shorter than you expect, but it will require more intense work than you are usually told.


How Does One Become Good At Something (Influencing Included)?

You may think that you just need to know the rules and practice. It is close to the truth, but it lacks a vital component. To be a good writer, you need to be an avid reader. To be a good musician, you have to have a background of thousands of songs and compositions you have listened to and liked (or disliked). In regard to our topic, you need to be a keen observer of how influence happens. Then you will see why some rules work and some do not. It means you will be ready to learn the rules and apply (or bend them) for the desired outcome.


  1. Observe yourself.

What persuades you personally? What influencers make the greatest impact on you and what people are detested on all levels? What makes you believe? It is not facts; it is either the confidence of a speaker, his or her looks or demonstration of care for the cause and audience. Or it is a sheer resonation of the presented idea with your inner beliefs (i.e. influencers tell you things you want to hear).

  1. Observe other influencers.

How do they carry themselves? What do they say and what do they not say? What is their body language? Do they appeal to your emotions or mind? Do they ‘sell’ you a dream, a vision, or a particular thing or its features?

  1. Take training.

When you have done your reflective homework, you are ready to get some formal training in influencing. If you really want to learn to influence effectively and ‘naturally’, pick the courses and coaches who are successful and ‘natural’ influencers themselves. At you will find such programs for solo learners and teamwork. Pick the right course and be sure that you will get to the core of influencing – in self-analysis, analysis of others, and application of the gained knowledge in practice.

  1. Practice.

Yes, you cannot rely on knowledge alone. You need to train it in a variety of situations, in daily life, at work, and in the key negotiations of your career. Start small and slow, and then move on to try and impact larger groups of people or people who usually do not listen to your words.


Just begin, and step by step, you will make your way into the circle of powerful and subtle influencers and will become one yourself.

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