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Colbert: “Americans meet friends again instead of tinkering with them” | Midnight TV Summary

Stephen Colbert

Similarities of social normality returned to the United States this weekend after the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention advised that vaccinated Americans could socialize without masks or distance. “Finally, Americans started seeing their friends again instead of binging them again.” Stephen Colbert Late show on Monday.

Colbert also Divorce of billions of dollars Between Microsoft founder Bill Gates and his wife Melinda, the brewing scandal Colbert named it “Gates Gaete”.

According to The New York Times, Bill Gates Suspicious behavior I’ve been raising my eyebrows for a long time with my female colleague. Gates has repeatedly reported that he has romantically tracked a woman who worked with Microsoft at the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation. “It’s bold to pursue the case in a literal office named after your marriage,” Colbert said, imitating Gates. Or look at the exterior of the building. Or stationery. Or our website. Our W2, or Melinda, who is also attending this conference. “

“But like the vast majority of troubled marriages, the number one cause of the conflict was the relationship with Jeffrey Epstein,” Colbert continued, with Gates meeting Epstein dozens of times from 2011 to 2014. I pointed out the report that it was. rear Epstein’s sex crimes were generally known, but Gates looked at Epstein in Bing, so he may not have known anything about Epstein, “Colbert joked.

Trevor Noah

At the daily show Trevor Noah Discussed the confusion over the relaxation of the CDC’s mask guidelines. “On the other hand, the CDC says,” Take off your mask. ” And on the other hand, you have an expert who says it’s crazy, “Noah explained.

“This is not surprising.” During this pandemic, experts disagreed with each other. Is it levitating? Is it okay to return to school? Need to pay a gift at Zoom Wedding is there?

“The CDC is igniting every aspect,” he continued. “But everyone, they just reflect what science is saying, and if you’re vaccinated, you can get sick or spread the virus without a mask. Everyone agrees that it’s very low. It’s like clicking “Install Updates Now” instead of “Notify me later”. It’s technically possible, but it doesn’t. “

Changes in mask guidance have been confusing, and many vaccinated people continue to wear masks, despite the microscopic risks to safety. “It’s a bit strange to me that fully vaccinated people treat their faces like a limited edition Pokemon card that can’t be out of the box,” Noah said. “But at the same time, I understand that. If you spent a lot of money on a mask last year, it’s worth the money because you want to keep wearing the mask.”

But he concluded, “Let’s be honest as a person.” “Wearing a mask literally doesn’t hurt anyone, even if you don’t need it. People are here wearing flashy crocs and funny packs. It’s okay. For whatever reason. , Do whatever makes you comfortable. “

Seth Meyers

Midnight, Seth Meyers We have provided the latest information on Matt Gaetz’s sex scandal. His “Wingman” and longtime friend Joel Greenberg has pleaded guilty to sexual trafficking and has agreed to work with a federal prosecutor. “Obviously, this isn’t good news for Gates,” Myers said.

“That is, we’re already a drug-fueled sex party, a marijuana entrepreneur who is another fellow Florida hand surgeon and one of Florida’s clue characters, and Margaritaville’s steam. I knew about a trip to Bahama with a smoker Gator. Tank top. “

Greenberg is involved in the sexual relationship between Gates and a minor girl. a The Daily Beast Survey The morning after Gates sent $ 900 to Greenberg via Venmo, Greenberg had three minors who had a sexual relationship with Venmo payments labeled “tuition,” “school,” and “school.” I found out that I sent a woman.

“It’s not a good cover, hey,” Myers said. “I wouldn’t have been so suspicious, just using a lot of eggplant emoji.

“I wouldn’t have been so skeptical if I had just written’FOR CRIME STUFF’and everyone thought it was a joke,” he continued. Put something interesting in the subject line, such as “To buy the diarrhea drug you asked for,” just like Venmo a friend to split a check after dinner. “

Jimmy Kimmel

And in Los Angeles, Jimmy Kimmel responded to the bomb 60 minutes survey To UFO. The latest episode of the news program interviewed a Pentagon official who reported observing an “unidentified aerial phenomenon” (now subject to the Federal Task Force). ..

“They knew about this for a few years, but until now I’ve been waiting to talk about it. I think a few years ago, the aliens said,” Take us to your leader. I would have been too embarrassed to say “please”. Kimmel joked. “They wouldn’t have been a great idea, uh.

“If this story had been in 60 minutes, as in 1988, it would have been the only thing we had talked about in the next 30 years,” he added. “It would have been the biggest news article of the year. Now it’s like,” Yeah, yeah, I heard it, and Bill Gates would be freaking out with one of his employees. Did you hear that? “

Colbert: “Americans meet friends again instead of tinkering with them” | Midnight TV Summary

Source link Colbert: “Americans meet friends again instead of tinkering with them” | Midnight TV Summary

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